My brother, not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, is a meth addict and alcoholic. You will see many people like him on the reality documentary "Intervention".
For years, my whole entire family has reasoned with him, and employed everything from scientific fact to begging to get him to see how his choices are killing him.
It never worked.
In the end, when his lifestyle began to affect our individual relationships with him in a very negative way, we each chose to stop allowing him access to our lives. This came after we were in a court case, in which he was being tried for violent behaviour that came as a result of his addictions.
Our hope is, that once we've stopped enabling his behaviour, he will be faced to live with the consequences of his choices, and may finally see the unreasonableness of his stand.
In following the Bible's provision of 'disfellowshipping', Jehovah's people are in fact doing the same thing with a brother or sister who has made, in a sense, a similar choice as my brother.
It is not, as you state, simply and cruelly that one is ignoring a former associate.
It is really that you have taken a final, brave decision, based on the love and respect you have for one who you love as a brother, and on respect you have for the God Jesus himself worshipped, and His standards.The desion for a disfellowshipping comes after review by a body of elders. Disfellowshipping is rarely, if ever, sudden. The individual MUST be willfully and unrepentantly following a course of behaviour contrary to the dedication he or she made to become one of Jehovah's Christian Witnesses. In all instances, it is the very last resort. It is an intervention.
Men of good standing and spiritual maturity from the congregation, who have been approached for and accepted the volunteer position of oversight within the congregation (commonly called 'elders') will frequently call on such disfellowshipped one's.
Regardless of whether they are repentant or not, the call is made to determine whether this one desires to be reconciled with the congregation, and has become repentant of his repetitive, willful wrong doing.
They will comfort them, and support them in their effort to overcome problems keeping them from pursuing their personal spiritual course.
Some who come in contact with such one's in work and casual situations find they can have a simple friendly conversation.
They usually limit these in respect for God's command, and in keeping with the hope that 'by doing so, some have gained their brother'.
Achtung Heiss has provided all the scriptures you will need to ascertain if these things are indeed to be found in the Bible, or not, and if so, the question begs asking, why do most so-called 'Bible-based' religions NOT follow the Bible's admonitions?
God's word: The Bible.